Thich Nhat Hahn once said:
Assuming that we can go through life without any experience of suffering is as much a self-deception as believing that the left side can exist separately from the right. The same can be said about the belief that it is impossible to find even a modicum of happiness in our lives.” Life fully combines opposites and is not “either/or”. All too often we assume that things are one-dimensional, when in fact they have many aspects and causes.
I have heard many times during meetings of various support groups:
We will surround you with love until you can express such love to yourself.” In spiritual communities, I have encountered a slightly simpler message: “We love you, keep trying.” This is exactly what we can do – show love to each other and move forward.
Remember that you don’t have to run a marathon, conquer a high mountain, or start a new social movement. If you choose to just move forward, I hope you will see that your resilience means standing up to people who are willing to create more trauma. I hope that there will be more of the right people around you who will support you on your journey or even join you.quotes from the book “Recover your strength”
For me, the book “Reclaim Your Strength” by Christopher Willard is primarily about the power of being present and not leaving yourself when things get really hot in our lives. About being alone, close to ourselves, no matter how disturbing, dysregulating, overwhelming our own post-traumatic symptoms are for us. It is also a book about the soothing (and supporting our recovery) presence of another person in moments when we are most hurt and tend to hide from others. The author cites a lot of evidence (from research and his own therapeutic practice) that we heal surrounded by good people, and compassion and self-compassion can effectively change the trajectory of our lives and even our entire culture for the better.
This is a book about the role of conscious intention on our self-therapeutic path of recovery (“how do I want to get through this difficult thing that happened to me?”). About breathing and body posture, which are carriers of our resources (or, on the contrary, carriers of mechanisms that maintain our post-traumatic overwhelm). About the role of diet, sleep, exercise and the forest in the hygiene of our lives.
It is also a book full of many great quotes (like the quote from Thich Nhat Hahn at the beginning), many unique studies about trauma and growing after it. It is also a collection of extremely practical exercises, of which I took the one titled “Four Roses, a Thorn and a Bud” straight to my life and accompanies me every day (the idea of the exercise is to notice, every evening, four things in the passing day for which we are in life grateful, one difficulty and one hope for the next day, a wonderful exercise!).
Christopher Willard not only writes about compassion, he embodies it on every page of the book. I recommend his book to everyone who would like to approach themselves with more gentleness and understanding. It is also a great read for your loved ones who are going through something extremely difficult.
Christopher Willard (2024), Reclaim Your Power. How to practice self-compassion and nurture growth after trauma. Publicat. Transl. K. Krzyżanowski.
PS The book was substantively edited by Maria Sitarska, my dear friend, and it was even more moving for me to read it.
